The seduction of a fresh start can be a trap or a blessing
restrictive resolutions, manifesting challenges, and words from my spirit team
I hope the New Year has greeted you gently. I have found myself feeling so much pressure internally and externally to create positive changes in my life. Even though I felt almost no discontent heading into the holiday season, only joy at having some time to rest. The messaging of resolution setting and self-improvement has found me. I feel in a constant struggle to keep my head above it and remind myself that every day is a new start and I am right where I need to be.
So, if you find yourself needing this message as well, let me say that each second you are here is a chance to start fresh, and you are, in this moment, right where you need to be.
I have never been one for making resolutions that I would act on or share. Perhaps because of my contrarian Aquarius nature, part of me enjoys abstaining from things that the rest of the world is doing.
Truthfully, though, there were many years when I carried silent, restrictive resolutions, usually to shrink my body, to want less, to take up less space in the world. To be good or better. Being a few years out of the grip of that way of thinking feels cause enough to celebrate.
I had a revelation last week. Even though I am not engaged in restrictive resolution-making, I have a hard time saying I want more.
On a whim, I joined a manifesting challenge. You may have seen the very one circulating on social media. The person running the challenge has millions of followers, so rest assured that it’s unlikely they’ll mind me sharing about the challenge here.
I cringed as I joined, feeling like it was the equivalent of hanging a “live, laugh, love sign” on the mantle. I told myself it was market research.
You might be wondering now, what’s wrong with a manifesting challenge?
Well, the marketing behind “you can change your entire life by changing your thoughts” isn’t completely wrong. But it does put a lot of emphasis on individualism and material wealth. In most cases, it spiritually bypasses most people's circumstances and can be the equivalent of saying, “We all have the same 24 hours in a day. If Beyonce can do it, so can you.” When truly some people have physical limitations, are caring for small children, aging parents, or fighting for survival. So no, obviously, we don’t all have the same hours in a day. Heaping on guilt and comparisons and focusing solely on material wealth never helps us.
When the first manifesting challenge email arrived on New Year's Day with simple instructions to decide what I wanted to manifest,
I was to finish this sentence: I desire __________.
At first, I couldn’t finish the sentence. The idea of actively working to bring myself something more just felt wrong. Especially when there is so much suffering in the world, and I feel abundant in what I already have.
This feeling is something that I’ve decided to interrogate because I believe that we can all seek happiness no matter what. I believe we are all worthy of rest, relaxation, and joy. In 2024, I want to connect deeply to my soul, my desires, and the soul of my business. I want to let my heart lead me toward what feels expansive and exciting. But I won’t force my soul to wake up and tell me on demand.
My spirit is in hibernation mode and not ready to desire something right now. So, I lean into patience.
My greatest success with manifesting in the past has been born out of a deep desire that I currently don’t feel in my body. For example, the energy I felt before I met my wife. I ached with a knowing that she was out there. I would lie in bed at night curled up around the empty space where she should have been. I could feel that someone was coming into my life, and I aligned my life around it.
I have a friend who has mirrored this feeling back to me on occasion. Someone is coming into my life. I can feel it, he says — and he’s always right. We can feel change when it’s coming, electricity in the air. Often, it’s a sense of discomfort that grows and pushes us to reach for something.
Winter feels like a quieter season, so if you’re not feeling desire either, perhaps permission to rest until you do will be more aligned than a manifesting challenge for you as well.
This year, I’ve seen a lot of people share low-stakes resolutions. I love the idea of aiming for something that brings you delight and doesn’t reinforce any type of lack.
My low-stakes resolutions are:
Try more crafts
Cook more recipes with seafood at home
Say hello to more strangers
Send more cards and letters through the mail
Play more music in my office between clients
Watch more old movies
Do you have any low-stakes resolutions? I’d love for you to share one with me.
So, while I don’t align with a manifesting challenge, especially ones that rely on people's desire for material wealth, I believe in intentions and aligning ourselves with them.
One intention that I have for the new year is that I want to dedicate more time to channeling—connecting with my spirit team and writing down their words and inspiration to share with you.
I’ve decided to try and follow through with the manifesting challenge. After sitting with my spirit team for some time, the feeling and intention started to take hold.
I desire inspiration to write and create, which goes along nicely with my intention of channeling more.
According to the challenge, I need to really believe I can achieve it (I do), and I also need to get specific about my desire and what exactly I want it to look like. I need to describe it like it’s already happening and in detail.
Like this: “I feel inspired to create. When I sit down to write, the words flow freely and effortlessly. I am in love with my ideas and can’t wait to share them with others.” I’ll share how this experiment goes. I’m pretty sure I’ve already gone against the rules by choosing something spiritual.
Here are some words from my spirit team on New Year’s resolutions:
The energy the collective puts toward the New Year is powerful, and yet it can be a trap or a blessing. Truly, it is neutral. For some, it may be a reason to direct attention towards what they want most, what will be fulfilling. For others, it may separate them from themselves, giving the false narrative that you “should be better”—the truth is that every day we are new, every second actually. We have a chance to start fresh with our thoughts and actions.
You are never going to be more loved and alive than you are right now. Which is not to say things won’t ever feel better or worse. Always you are surrounded by Spirit, securely held and loved.
You can build a wall of false narratives around your heart and convince yourself that you are undeserving, unworthy, or not enough. That will not change the fact that you are both spectacular and ordinary in the most universal way. You are a part of everything, and everything is a part of you. The greatest lie is to think you are alone or special in your loneliness.
Beneath feelings of inadequacy is the deepest desire to love and be loved, to surrender to your true nature, which is a source of light and inspiration. To lead yourself out of the lie of not being enough, you need to follow your heart.
Sending you love,
Sheryl
P.S. If you’d like to submit a question to my advice column, A Peek Behind the Veil, you can ask me anything about spirituality, business, relationships, or life. Tell me a little about your situation. It’s completely anonymous, and I will share advice and answers here in the newsletter.
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