When I was a kid, I would make declarations to myself to try and remember certain moments. I remember a family vacation to Florida, being in the hotel bathroom and taking a bubble bath for the first time. I shut my eyes tight, praying to remember what I deemed the most perfect moment in my life so far.
It wasn’t always happy moments I wanted to lock in. My mom's father died of a heart attack when I was twelve, and we got the news while we were camping. I remember watching her sit on the small bench in our trailer. She was wearing jeans and a pink and blue soft flannel shirt. She looked so young, and she had tears quietly streaming down her face. It felt like the first time I was truly seeing her, not as my Mom, but as the person she was. She looked so beautiful, and I thought, “I don’t want to forget this.”
I sensed these moments I wanted to lock into memory were somehow pivotal. There are times when the universe turns us to face ourselves in the mirror; our life path is shifting, and we will never be the same after.
This month marks six years since I started writing psychic medium on my tax return.
When I imagine my past self I usually see myself through the office window of my old corporate job, which makes sense because that’s where I spent most of my time and energy. I see myself with files laid out, strategizing, counting out almonds on my desk for lunch, striving, always trying to prove something. Sometimes, I feel ashamed at the sarcastic, quippy things I would say back then, but more and more, I feel mostly compassion for myself. I was trying to hide so much about myself, and it was taking a toll.
To go from one life to another, come out as a psychic medium, come out as gay, and start living my life in alignment with my soul was a process of listening inward. It sounds like it would be complicated, not something you could teach someone else to do, but it’s actually simpler than that. We don’t have to be in crisis to start listening to ourselves and honoring our truth.
In mediumship, we have a practice called sitting in the power. Unlike meditation, where you sit to observe your thoughts, with sitting in the power, you sit to move your conscious mind aside and move your awareness to the spirit world. This is how we can attune to the spirit world. It’s where we may become aware of our own connection to the divine and feel our own love—it’s where the magic happens.
It’s through this practice that I can check in with my soul, meet with my spirit team, and often where I find inspiration.
I remember learning about this for the first time. I sat, eyes closed, in the sanctuary at The Arthur Findlay College, listening to my tutor's voice guiding me to feel this inner light. At this point, I had already rented an office space because I needed the quiet. I needed to hear my spirit team more clearly, and I needed a place to practice mediumship. I had been sitting for hours a day listening to instructions from my guides and my deceased grandmother. I thought, oh this is what I’ve been craving—there is a word for it. Sitting in the power.
Most days, when I sit down to write, I have nothing to say.
I sort through my ideas, and nothing new emerges; everything feels disconnected.
When I move inward, eyes closed, the rhythm of my breath lulls my mind into rest and I can start to feel something opening inside me.
I have a sense of two large knitting needles threading through my consciousness, moving away thoughts, ideas, and fears until they get to something worthy. I feel the love within me; all the empty space in my chest starts to feel full like my heart is expanding, and I have a sense of being at home. In this space, I am free, unlimited, and completely accepted. On my best days, I rember to ask for help. Some days, I simply sit in wonder of the presence of spirit.
I advise students of mediumship to take this dedication seriously. When someone asks, “How can I advance more quickly?” or “How can I experience a breakthrough?” My answer is to sit in the power regularly.
I admit it is not always easy to do. There are times when I don’t want to sit in the power because I am avoiding myself or I am avoiding the truth.
I push myself to sit anyway. I know if I don’t I will begin to feel lonely in my work. When I attune with my team, I soak up the confidence and clarity I need to move my ideas forward.
My spirit team tells me that even on days when it feels like nothing is happening, it is. We are coming into harmony like a troop of starlings flying in formation, like members of an orchestra whose heartbeats and breath synch up.
It is not only about sitting with spirit. This is a time for your soul and your personality to come into alignment.
At times in my life when my personality led me to excess, working long hours, striving, starving myself, and managing other people's impressions of me. My soul pushed for something else. I credit the listening in the silence for the reinvention of my life.
The magic happens behind consciousness. The soul's desires alchemize our actions and wishes, spinning our destiny.
And we have free will. Change only happens if we listen, if we sit in the quiet and let our heart space fill with the desire for truth.
It’s not always going to bring us more or better, but it will bring us closer to the truth every day.
With love,
Sheryl
P.S. Thank you for reading The Electric Curtain. If you’d like to support my work, consider becoming a paid subscriber, commenting, or sharing this post with a friend.
I loved this, Sheryl! “Change only happens if we listen, if we sit in the quiet and let our heart space fill with the desire for truth.” This rang so true. Sometimes easier said than done, but turning inward is always a step in the right direction.
Wow!! I grew up doing the exact same thing. Never heard anyone else say this before