Feeling disconnected from the spirit world
Answers to your questions about what affects our mediumship
If connecting to the spirit world is like coming home to yourself, what happens when we can’t find the desire to return home? Sometimes sitting with ourselves becomes uncomfortable or even painful.
I feel most confident working with my mediumship when I am rested, nourished, hydrated, and relaxed.
And…I’ve done some of my best work right after getting off a red-eye flight. One time, I did a mediumship demonstration immediately after learning devastating news, and my work was not affected.
I prefer to be in my space getting grounded and calm before a reading, but I’ve also done great work in loud, uncomfortable environments like bars, crowded cafes, or corners of people's homes where I haven’t felt completely comfortable.
I don’t believe the spirit world is fickle in how they work with us, but we may benefit from feeling more confident when we are comfortable.
I hope that sharing this information with you will help in the hard times when you are feeling disconnected or under pressure. For me, knowing I can connect has bostlered me—so I want to share that experience with you.
This week, I’m answering readers' questions about feeling disconnected from spirit. I received many repeating questions, especially about diet and substances that affect our connection to spirit.
For questions about personal choices and experiences, I’m going to share what works for me for transparency. I hope that you will take what resonates and leave the rest.
None of this information should take the place of medical advice.
One reader shared, “When I am desperately sad, I find it hard to connect (when I feel I need it more than ever).”
When we are sad, angry, or feeling lost, spirit is all around us. They do not depend on our “high vibration” or positivity. Feeling heavy with grief or sadness can make it difficult to feel other things. Sadness takes up a lot of space.
It helps me to speak out loud and ask my spirit team to be with me when I'm experiencing difficult emotions. I focus my awareness on my breath and ask them to help me hold the sadness, worry, or fear I’m struggling with. After a few moments, I feel the emotions move, change, or spread out in my body.
I will ask the spirit world to show me the situation from their perspective, and I will usually feel a shift. This often feels like taking a birds-eye view of what I’m experiencing. Sometimes my spirit team will share messages with me, but often I am simply aware that I am not alone. I find that focusing on receiving a message or any type of resolution isn’t always helpful because I can become easily overfocused and this engages my conscious mind.
Does our diet affect our connection with the spirit world? (I’ve heard you shouldn’t have red meat or fast food.)
Our bodies indeed play a role in mediumship. We receive information through our physical senses, and connecting to the spirit world takes immense energy. So, it makes sense that taking care of our bodies will help us connect to spirit, just like taking care of ourselves will help us to do any physical activity. However, when we have physical limitations we will adapt.
Examining our ideas and biases around diet culture, consumerism, or ableist ideas is helpful. People have connected to the spirit world since the beginning of time without the guidance of coaches, influencers, and spiritual teachers. My advice is to do what feels right for you—what feels best and nourishing to your body.
I eat intuitively, and would consider my diet normal and mostly healthy. I don’t enjoy a lot of fast food, but I have eaten it on occasion, and there have been no side effects. I didn’t eat any red meat until I was an adult and try to limit it for environmental impact, but I’m not a vegan and have not be consistently vegetarian for long periods of time while working as a medium.
I drink a lot of water when I’m working, and I believe this helps me hold the energy and it’s better for my voice. I don’t like feeling full when I work. I eat something with protein an hour before work, and I try to choose something nourishing when I’m done.
Many people have advised me that chocolate or sugar makes them feel good after they work, but sugar makes me feel like I’ll float away on a cloud, whereas a salad with protein helps me feel more grounded.
What happens if I connect to spirit when I’m stressed out or sick?
The more relaxed I feel, the easier it is to begin working. Something incredible about mediumship is that once I start working, I don’t feel any of the demands of my body. I can be tired or in physical pain, but I am unaware of it once I am connected to the spirit world. I have heard many other mediums share this experience.
I know for myself that the times I have been physically close to death were some of the most profound connections, so I have never had the mindset that I needed to be “clear or pain-free to connect.”
I know that someone will misinterpret what I am saying to mean that you should push yourself to work through pain or when you are feeling low. I’m not saying that. There are consequences after the fact, at least for me. I would be feeling drained. But I like having information, so I want to share this with you in the hope that it leaves you feeling empowered and like you have choices.
What about coffee/alcohol/other substances?
All bodies are different, and I believe we need to find what’s best for us, sometimes through trial and error.
For me, this included giving up alcohol almost two years ago. My mediumship is not better now that I don’t drink, but I feel better and have more energy. In general, mediumship and alcohol or other substances that impair judgment are not a good mix, just as I wouldn’t advise having a serious conversation or going to therapy while intoxicated. It’s worth noting that I can also feel when someone is intoxicated when I’m connecting to their energy, and most of the time, it lowers the energy and power in the reading.
At times, I’ve given up coffee, which has allowed me to feel more relaxed and less anxious before readings. I take medication for ADHD, and that helps me focus when I’m working or presenting to a group.
When I fly, I take anxiety medication. This has not affected my mediumship or connection to the spirit world. Although I remember worrying that it would, and I interviewed several colleagues and friends before I flew abroad to work a few years ago. Every medium I asked advised that they wouldn’t have a second thought about popping a pill that would help them avoid panicking on an airplane—some said they took anxiety medication regularly for years and said it did not affect their mediumship at all. I take medication for migraines, and it’s changed my life. Before having this medication, I would spend days lying in a dark room, and now I’m able to function close to normal with a migraine. It also does not affect my mediumship.
Like a lot of mediums, I have insomnia and take CBD/THC to sleep and this hasn’t affected my mediumship.
How does becoming a mother change your connection to spirit?
I love this question. I believe everything we experience in life can change the way we see the world and expand our awareness and empathy in new ways. Becoming a parent is an experience that can alter us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The physical experience of giving birth is one aspect. There is also the bond we feel to another persoon that can be life altering.
Motherhood has made me feel more firmly grounded in this life. Having another person depend on you for love and care feels both terrifying and sacred.
This could also extend to anyone who cares deeply for and nurtures another person or animal. The bonds of love we form with one another give us a depth of understanding we might not have otherwise.
I want to address the fears that practicing mediums or those who connect to the spirit world may have. There is so much misinformation about what it takes to be a medium. I’m also really open to questions in the comments and would love to share anything about this topic that’s helpful to you.
With love,
Sheryl
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