A grieving father recently asked me at the end of a reading, “What is happening for you during a mediumship connection?” He said knowing would help him to understand and let himself believe. I honored his request as best I could, and it got me thinking that sharing the hows and whats of my experience as a medium could be valuable.
There are a lot of misconceptions about mediumship and how it works. One of the most comical memories for me is when signing the lease for my first office space, I told my prospective landlord I was a psychic medium.
“Oh, so you bring people back from the dead!?” he asked. I stared at him, mentally preparing my best Genie from Aladin impression.
Thankfully he quickly added, “Well, I won’t be interrupting you!” I signed the papers, no further questions asked.
Whenever I watch something on TV about mediumship, I understand why there are so many misconceptions — Hollywood is truly cringe-worthy (especially reality TV).
Mediumship is not a party trick, nor is it dangerous in any way. But I don’t want to focus on what mediumship isn’t. I want to explain a little about what the experience is like for the medium — for me.
Technically speaking, a mediumship reading is communication between three parties. The spirit person communicates to a recipient, usually their living loved one, and the medium acts as a translator. One of my first mediumship teachers would tell her class, “You’re an extension chord for the spirit world.”
But a good mediumship reading is so much more. For some, it’s like a family reunion you never thought possible. It can be a chance to get closure and gain a sense of peace when questions are left unanswered, or goodbyes left unsaid. A way for your loved ones in spirit to validate that they are present and witnessing your life. This can make all the difference for some people. To process grief and strengthen your bond with your passed loved one.
Connecting to the spirit world is like a homecoming to yourself. Because we are all from the spirit world, we will all return there, and when you take time to touch the magic of the electric curtain, you can gain the insight and wisdom you need to keep going.
How I Explain the Process to a Client
Before I begin a reading, I explain that I will connect to your loved ones in spirit. While I’m connecting with them, I will see things, hear things, feel things, and know things. I will share everything with them, holding nothing back. My goal is that most of the information will make sense during the reading (like 80-90%), sometimes things make sense after the fact or you’ll remember after you leave my office, and sometimes there can be misinterpretation, and things don't make sense. If I share something with you that doesn’t make sense, it’s important, to be honest and let me know. This will allow me to clarify with the spirit world.
What’s Happening for Me
I have this spiel memorized because when I’m sitting down with a client, I use a lot of energy to keep their loved ones at bay while I explain the process. Taking a deep breath, I send a silent prayer to the spirit world and let them know I’m ready to meet them and give them my full attention. I ask my client to say their name out loud. The energetic vibration of it helps my connection, I feel the spirit world get excited when they hear the voice of their loved one.
I will become aware of a spirit person. I’ll see the flash of a profile out of my peripheral vision, crinkles around the eyes of a grandmother. Sometimes I’ll hear a word “husband.” I might have a feeling that I am a Dad missing my daughter. Or I might know that there is a son in spirit longing to communicate. It doesn’t matter to me which senses are involved in the communication. It’s only my job to deliver the information.
As the spirit world comes closer, I am relaying all the information they share with my client and simultaneously checking in to make sure that the information is understood. Getting into a flow like this takes practice. It’s why I tell people that it’s not the mediumship ability we need to develop so much as the practice of delivering information.
The information that comes through is mainly evidential, but I’m not aiming to prove anything. It’s important to make this distinction. As mediums, we can’t prove the existence of the spirit world. We explain what is happening for us, we share our experience—that is the proof.
When we get caught up in proving something, it involves our ego and invites our conscious mind into the reading. I need to be as clear as possible in a reading. My conscious mind wants to jump to conclusions and “get things right.” My intuitive mind is passive and receives information freely and without bias. Putting aside the need to get things right or understand creates conditions for clear communication.
Sometimes there can be miscommunications, and I will misinterpret what the spirit communicator wants to get across. I remember communicating with a young man who passed into the spirit world, and everything flowed nicely. Then I started to see the comic book character Poison Ivy, so I asked if my clients understood this. “No,” they said, unsure.
I continued the reading, but again, I saw Uma Thurman dressed in a green Ivy-wrapped bodice moving all around my office. I asked again, this time saying, “It’s like Poison Ivy is everywhere.” My clients looked at each other instantly, understanding, “That’s right, right before he passed that week, he was covered in poison ivy.”
I felt the spirit person relax, satisfied with the information.
The spirit world is most remarkable in two things: their love and intelligence.
Information is often multi-layered and shared for very specific reasons. A father that speaks of the compass he gave you might incorporate that piece of evidence into a message about finding your purpose in life. You later look at the inscription on the back of the compass to see that it says, “Find your true north,” Not coincidentally, you plan to lead your first retreat in Canada later that year. This message is meaningful because of the family heirloom and validates your choice.
Communication is always loving. Our loved ones in spirit grow exponentially in their ability to love when they pass to the other world. I imagine as a medium, I’m feeling a fraction of that love. Looking through their eyes at my clients (their loved ones), I feel their excitement and unconditional love. When everything aligns, I am looking through the eyes of the spirit, I am not them, but I feel their desire to comfort, uplift, and guide. It is incomparable to the love we feel on earth. There is nothing you could ever say or do to make the spirit world love you any less when you feel that it’s overwhelming.
Passed loved ones understand things they didn’t realize when they were incarnate. Those in spirit can zoom out and take a bird's eye view of their life, soul purpose, and the divine order of things. They understand the reason for challenges and take nothing personally. If someone struggled with a mental illness or was limited in their ability to show love and affection, they can recognize this and understand why. Often spirit communicators will validate or apologize for the past. They can also forgive and understand in a way that wasn't possible when they were incarnate.
They are a witness to your life
Your passed loved ones see your life. They know what you’ve accomplished since they’ve passed; they were at the wedding when you honored them, and they saw the birth of your children they never got to hold. This information is important and surprising to many people. Your loved ones in spirit want you to know that they are with you, and so this information is important in strengthening that relationship.
Messages are hopeful and uplifting. The spirit world communicates with us to offer their love and guidance. They do not tell us what to do with our lives, reveal upsetting truths, or warn us. This is something I know to be true from my own work. When life is challenging, the spirit world will acknowledge that and help guide you. There is always a way forward, and that is the focus.
When you’re receiving a mediumship reading, you’ll likely experience many sensations and emotions — especially if you’re sensitive to energy. Mediumship is, most of all, a healing modality. The energy being transmitted can be felt by most people and seen by some.
There is always a healing quality to a reading and the energy left behind might leave you feeling lighter. You may experience a sense of peace or ease.
Here are some resources that can help support you after a reading and explain what you may experience.
Thanks for being here 💖
With love,
Sheryl
If you’re looking for more ways to connect…
Here are more ways to work with me
you can still get a signed copy of my book, Uncovering Intuition, here
This brought me right back to the special feeling I got when you helped my sister and me connect with spirit. Thank you for this extra special lovely peek behind the veil.
So beautiful Sheryl. Thank you for this peek behind the veil 🥹🕊️🤍